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Recent Comments:

I remember being 5 years and 51 weeks old, and my older brother, who was 8 years old at the time, would torment me with his marshmallow shooter. I would beg to play with it, and he would laugh at me, waving it at me as I cried. Then, 1 week later, I turned 6, and I rejoiced for I was finally old enough to play with a marshmallow shooter. Mine came in the mail from Amazon. I opened the box, took it out and immediately ran to my brother. Sadly, though, it was exactly 4 months and a day from his 8th birthday. He sat on his bed, listening to Led Zeppelin IV, smoking a cigarette, and drinking a beer. He looked at me through his mirrored sunglasses and said, "sorry kid, that's kid's stuff. I'm way too old to play with that. Now scram, will ya'?"
When my FIL was living he liked target shooting whenever we went to his family's ranch in southern Georgia. He made the mistake of asking my MIL and I to go get him some marshmallows to use for target practice, so we got mini-marshmallows to piss him off. We WANTED to get those teeny-tiny marshmallows like the ones in hot cocoa mix, but couldn't find them.
I remember the day I turned 8 years, 4 months, and one day old. The scales fell from my eyes, the heavens opened, and My fucking marshmallow shooter went to fucking shit.
That's because you're older than 8 years, 4 months old.
My next door neighbor had an oak identical to ours, but they cut it down 2 years ago. The house on the other side of them also have one. So each fall, half my leaves and half of that other house's leaves drop enough oak leaves on the guy in the middle so that it looks like he still has an oak. It's OK though, he lets his dog shit on our lawn, so fuck him.
Simon, many of your countrymen feel there's nothing wrong with speaking in Cockney rhyming slang. I'm sure my saying "fixin' to" is the least egregious assault on the Queen's English that you have heard today.
Luna, I knew exactly what you meant. But I don't think you realize, if we take over the campaign..... ....we take over the government. Save the cheerleader, save the world, so to speak.
That's so cute. Too bad your bros didn't record your first "Fixin' to." It's like on Sex and the City when Charlotte converts to Judaism and says her first "Oy."
You people are cracking my shit up today. First it was "While shopping for marshmallow guns on Amazon" and now it's "in the heady days before the Gulf War." What's next, "As I was driving the through campaign-sign-free main drag of Anytown, USA..."? And again, I didn't mean you and me taking over the government - just being Hillary's campaign managers. Honestly, this is just getting exhausting now. I quit the campaign.
All right girl! Keep it up! :)

On back on track In the blog soundecho